Quiz Results

Next Steps

1. Raise up those around you

Imagine if all the people you know were operating at their highest level of self. What would the world look like? What could we accomplish if everyone was truly running at top capacity?

There is a great fear among many leaders in corporate America that lifting an employee up too far will overshadow the leader; you want them to do well, but not too well. In keeping with the car analogy, rather than surrounding themselves with bright and shiny showroom models, these leaders park themselves in the middle of junkyard models, downplaying others’ talents and successes to make sure they’re the shiniest car on the lot.

Sometimes being a great leader means knowing when to let another car pull ahead and pass or move on down another road. It takes a lot of courage and firm sense of self to allow other people to be their best. But if you look at great leaders throughout history, those who raised up the people around them went further faster and made a more lasting impact than those leaders who ruled with an iron fist.

2. Ask the people in your life to describe their personal best

As a leader for HBO, there’s a question I often ask out of the blue to colleagues, team members, and during my interviews with applicants. I’d ask them to describe for me how they show up as their best selves whether at school, at work, at home, at life. Many people haven’t stopped to think about what they look like when they’re running at top speed; they just go to work, do their job, collect their paycheck, and grow old. That’s not enough.

When you ask someone what their best looks like—and truly care about the answer—you show them you care about them as a human being. It’s actually very powerful. And when they are finally ready and able to describe what it looks like when they are at their best—what they’re doing, what they feel like—and are able to share it with you, that is a freeing moment for them, and also for you. As someone who is living the life you’ve imagined, it’s no longer about you being the star; it’s about creating an environment that’s conducive for people to bring in their best ideas, their best selves, and to shine.

3. Be someone’s anchor relationship

In this era, where time is at a premium and everyone is infinitely busy, we are losing an essential element of what makes us successful as humans: relationships. Real ones. Deep ones. Ones that last decades and beyond.

Let’s look at some basic engineering: A stool with three legs stands strong and steady, but put it on two legs and you’ve got a problem. It’s even worse if you’ve got one leg to stand on… one false move and you’re sprawled on the floor. But three—that simple, magical number—three legs hold you strong and steady against the world.

To make it through emotionally, I believe you only need three essential people in your life—a “board of directors” to bounce things off of, to keep you on path, and to support you when you need some help and love. Three essential anchor relationships for three essential life spaces: your work, your circle, and your home. You can be one of these anchor relationships for someone in your life. As you live the life you’ve imagined, it is your responsibility to help others in your life do the same.